I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
