I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I looked at my own cervix.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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