good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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