he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
