So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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