I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
