I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
