I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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