At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
