i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
