she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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