well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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