This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
