how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
