Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
