I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
