so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
