How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize