Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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