when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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