You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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