First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize