He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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