im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
A+ Viking dick
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