Don't you send me to vm
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
