My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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