you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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