Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
