New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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