Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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