All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
