Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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