Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
