This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize