I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
