so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
There r osticjed everywhere
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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