you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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