I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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