Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
