We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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