mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
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