New low: just hacked my moms facebook
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
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