she was so not down for the gang bang
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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