dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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