Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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