i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
