NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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