Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
