I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
