Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
