I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
