how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
