the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
