So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
