I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
