You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at templeÂ
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
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