The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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