I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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