this will be a night to untag.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
