My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
That accounts for only three of the penises
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
