at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
