i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
drinking out of a sandbucket again
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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