I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
